My Joy mantra, combined with the chill pill “the size of China” Mei suggested, has really helped my practice. Yesterday, I had my usual 6am Bikram class where every stretch in the mid region created an immediate desire to curl up in fetal position. The difference? I didn’t get angry or panicky about the impending vomit. Instead, I sat down Japanese style, head up, back straight and chilled. This is a huge breakthrough for me because I’ve always taken the “kill yourself more harder” mantra to mean, if you aren’t dying, don’t leave the room AND you’re not practicing right. Which means, I’m a total freaking mess by the time I admit to myself, yes, you are killing yourself, sit the fuck down! It kinda reminds me of calling in sick to work; I think I have to sound really bad or they won’t believe me, so I put on my best “poor me” voice. In my Bikram practice, I know I’m putting in 100% every time, so I can save the antics. The other bonus to chilling out is that I’m not an energy sucker to the folks that are still going strong.
Although I totally kept my peace in class, (and skipped half the postures) I still threw up. Twice. So, finally, I have let myself off the hook with 6am class. The water I drink, starting at 4:50am, clearly doesn’t sit well in my stomach. So, rather than beat myself up about it, I’m letting it go. If I have to take a 6am class because no other time will work, I’m going to see how NOT drinking before class goes. A woman told me after class that she doesn’t start drinking water until she gets in the studio and she’s fine. Hmmm, for now, I’m going to bask in the joy of knowing that I don’t have to do another 6am class if I don’t want to. Yea!
A quick thank you to Mei for introducing Despederata, a new Bikram blogger from Singapore writing about her first 30 day challenge. So cool. And for this article which I forgot I wanted to RT! (that’s twitter speak for retweet which is just more twitter speak!)
About my crushing oranges grip. I like it and will continue the hard way. ; >
